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【流亡抗爭者家書.1】感謝父親教我不對不公義盲從低頭

2019/9/25 — 16:47

編按:今日(9 月 25 日)民間記者會公開三封寄自流亡台灣的「反送中」運動抗爭者給香港人的家書,他們為無法繼續留港抗爭致歉,並鼓勵香港人堅持作戰到底。其中一封家書全文及英文翻譯轉載如下。(標題為編輯所擬)

致親愛的家人,及還在抗爭的香港人:
Dearest family and fellow fighters for freedom in Hong Kong,

在這封家書的首段,我認為有必要先對你們致歉。我離開了親人、朋友、戰友以及香港,來到台灣,沒有繼續跟大家一起對抗不義的政權,我感到羞愧和無地置容。
I must apologise to you all first and foremost for having left you alone in this fight against injustice. The guilt and shame of having somehow exonerated myself from this turmoil and fled kill me every day - I must have left behind a piece of my soul in Hong Kong to redeem itself.

廣告

懂事以來,父親都對我嚴厲的教導。「我不是要你甚麼都懂!我是要你不要甚麼都不懂!」您這句話言猶在耳,我還依稀記得您當時手執衣架卻眼泛淚光的樣貌。小時候的我還很反叛,對您的嚴厲都不太理解。現在漸漸成長,也逐漸明白背後的苦衷。原來您教導我在遇上不公義的事情,不要盲目低頭服從,要學會爭取。現在香港的情況不就是這樣嗎?面對不公不義,我們不能低頭裝作不見。
Ever since I can remember, father has always strived to strike a man out of me: ‘I’m not asking for you to understand everything; what I’m asking if that you don’t understand nothing!’ His words still ring in my ears today; I still remember how he wielded the old clothes hanger with trembling hands, and how his eyes were brimming with tears. I was a difficult child, and never quite understood how he could be so stern with his son. But as I grew up, I began to see why: he was teaching me to stand up to injustice and fight for what is right. Isn’t this exactly the case with Hong Kong today? How could anyone still turn a blind eye to all that is undue and unjust?

親愛的家人,我在台灣一切平安,請你們不要擔心。我應承會會照顧好自己,不會辜負父親的教導與你們的期望。
Dear family, all is fine with me in Taiwan, please don’t worry. I will take good care of myself, and live up to father’s teachings and your expectations.

廣告

在金鐘抗爭的那段日子,我一輩子都無法忘記。在硝煙四起的夏慤道,望盡時黃黑色的人群,他們的眼神都是一樣的堅定。腎上腺素飆升,使我在嘈吵的戰場能聆聽到自己的脈搏和呼吸。一呼一吸,有血有肉。每晚發夢圍繞我耳邊的,都是沙啞的口號、傷者的求救聲、救護車的鳴笛聲及代表著暴政的槍火聲,彷彿連催淚彈的氣味我都能嗅得到,這一切在夢魘中揮之不去。
I will and can never forget those days in Admiralty: how threads of tear smoke snaked up into the air; the endless sea of black and yellow that filled up Harcourt Road; the determined look in the protester’s eyes… Adrenaline rose, amplifying the pounding of my own pulse until it resonated within the soundscape of the battlefield, and fleshing out every breath as it crashed into the thick air. I revisit this scene every night - my dreams consist of a cacophony of the broken chants of the protest slogans, the cries for help of the injured, the siren of ambulances, and the sound of gunshots that emblematise tyranny; I can even smell the acidic tear gas in my sleep. I am locked and grounded in this perpetuity of nightmares, never to be released.

參與抗爭行動的初衷是「良知及道德的感召」,因為港府的漠視,令抗爭愈發激進。然而,我覺得是合符公義的,就放膽去做,即使可能斷送性命,即使我和法律的邊界愈來愈接近。
This resistance movement was born from a moral calling. The more indifferent the authorities, the louder our outcry. And yet for me, I found the will and courage to fight from the belief that I was abiding with justice, even if it places me on the edge of the law and even if it means death.

「緊記你是黑暗中所僅餘的一點光」,這段日子,香港呈現國際的不是港府的無能與警察的暴力,而是抗爭者的人性光輝,在一片黑暗中尤其顯得耀眼。
‘Remember that you are the only light in this darkness.’ What Hong Kong has displayed to the world is not the coldbloodedness of our Government nor the abhorrent crimes of our police force, but each one of us ablaze and shining as a beacon of humanity through the darkest of hours.

但在極權暴政下,這光耀和意志隨時可能被摧毀。抗爭路上,沒有歸途也不見前路,或者我們應該給自己解開那累事的枷鎖,沒有教條主義也沒有所餘籌碼,要的是放手一搏去爭取我們所應得的。我們不要假手於人,但要對時代抱有信心,後浪將會湧至,因為「哪裡有不公義,哪裡就有抗爭」。
But flames are easily snuffed by the strong hands of dictatorship. On this path to truth and freedom, there is neither a beginning nor an end. Perhaps it is time for us to free ourselves from the chains of dogmatism and shake off the fear of our lack of bargaining counters. All we can do now is to give it one best go with all we have at attaining what we deserve. We must do this on our own, but we must also have faith in our time and believe that our spirit will be bequeathed, for ‘where there is injustice, there is resistance’.

早前,我去看台灣的連儂牆,原以為自己已經麻木,不會傷感,但看見眼前的台灣人排隊貼上寫滿支持的便利貼,向已逝去的烈士鞠躬,我竟也忍不住淚流滿面。帶著帽子跟口罩,保密來自香港的身份,我無法放聲大哭,只能壓聲抽泣。我們還能做什麼?
I went to visit the Lennon Walls around Taiwan earlier with the thought that I must have already desensitised to the emotional blows that they bring. But seeing our Taiwanese friends queuing up to attach their memo notes in support of our cause, and bowing in tribute to our martyrs and fallen heros, I found my face laced with tears yet again. I couldn’t even cry out loud - all the emotions had to be contained behind the mask that I wore to conceal my identity, and be compressed into a quiet weep. What more can we do?

這週末,在台灣,有 9.29 台港大遊行。面對香港如斯情境,在台灣的我們,至少還能站出來,還慶幸有身邊的台灣朋友同行,聲援血淚中的香港。
The Taiwan-Hong Kong Grand Parade is going to take place this Sunday in Taiwan. In the face of our homeland being lashed with blood and tears, the least that we can do from abroad is to step up in solidarity with Hong Kong along with our Taiwanese friends.

如今,人在異鄉,希望香港人知道,許多台灣人認同香港抗爭的理念,世界各地也都有人全力地支持香港人。這是一場自由與極權的戰爭,香港人絕對不是孤軍作戰。
Hong Kongers, I can confidently tell you that the people of Taiwan fully sympathises with your ideas and actions. Please know that the world is with you in this war between the free world and totalitarianism. We have the world on our side, and they will never let us stand alone.

香港人需要的,是對香港現時的社會結構來一個深層的全面改革。那亦是現在香港的唯一出路。願我等所冀望的美麗城邦,能有天構築於我等眼前。
What Hong Kong needs now is a complete reformation of the sociopolitical system - this is our only way out. May we see through to the day our beautiful city is reborn.

香港是香港人的家,我是離家的遊子。感謝每一位在家抗爭的香港人,出門在外的我也會不會放棄自己,繼續堅持努力。我永遠記得自己在煲底的承諾,終有天坦容相見。
Hong Kong is forever the one and only home to Hong Kongers - and thus I am not an exile abroad, but a traveller who has left to return. I need to thank all and everyone of you fighters at home. I promise to never give up on myself while I am away, and to always fight alongside you. The day will come when we meet at the ‘bottom of the pot’ - mask-free.

臨文涕泣,長文乏味。
Until then, my friends.

一名香港抗爭者上
All best,
A Hong Kong protester

 

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